Thursday, May 15, 2008
LWB:Good morning Professor Finkelstein and thank you for agreeing to do this interview with me at the Homosapien Underground. I know that technically you have not agreed to do the interview, but remember that Liberal White Boy is a satirical blog with about 85 percent of its content actually true. Should you choose not to participate, remember I will just make up your response in a manner that I believe is consistent with your personality as I have observed you and based upon what little I know about you. I should also warn you that even if you do choose to respond and I find your responses tedious or uninteresting, I will also substitute my own response as if it was yours. With these things in mind lets get on with your interview, okay Professor?
Finkelstein:Thank you LWB it's a pleasure to be here.
LWB:Professor it's now been almost a year since your students rallied to your cause at De Paul after Dean Holtschneider denied you tenure. Like in the good old days your students occupied buildings, organized sit-ins and other protests and more contemporariously blogged on behalf of you and academic freedom. In fact many of us were amazed at the level of support an associate professor received from his students. Honestly professor before you were denied tenure, on the average, how many times a week would you say you got stoned with your students? I recognize this may somewhat controversial, so if it was more than three times each week, simply do not respond.
Finkelstein:
LWB: Thank you professor. Professor Finkelstein in your heart of hearts do you think Dean Holtschneider's decision at De Paul would have been different if the recently elected Catholic Pope had not been a member of the Hitler Youth as a child? I recognize that you don't want a bunch of those nutty Opus Dei radicals marching outside your apartment in New York, so if you think you would be a tenured professor at De Paul if the Pope wasn't a Nazi, simply don't respond.
Finkelstein:
LWB: Thank you Professor. Professor you have championed
the cause of the Palestinian underdog in the Middle East most of your professional career. As you are aware the 60th anniversary of the Nakba(the catastrophe ) is upon us. Having spent the past several years in Chicago, and as champion of underdogs, I must assume you have also become a Cubs fan. As a Cubs fan you likely are aware that it has been almost one hundred years since the Cubs have won a World Series. The last win was 40 years before the Nakba. I recognize that the Palestinians have had their land stolen and have been brutalized and oppressed by Zionist occupiers for sixty years, but Cubs fans have suffered 40 damn years longer. Based upon your own research of the Middle East conflict and your personal experiences at Cub games, who do you believe has suffered more? I recognize some may criticise the political correctness of comparing human suffering with a game, so if you think Cubs fans have suffered more, simply don't respond to the question.
Finkelstein:
LWB:Thank you Professor. Professor it has been reported here at the Homosapien Underground that you got the last laugh at De Paul and are now a multi-millionaire. Not only that but you are free to lecture, research, write and pursue your academic interests at will(no more pesky students to attend to). Wasn't it Torture Professor Dershowitz that made all of this possible for you? Don't you think you owe him at least a thank you for the meddling efforts that allowed you to set up De Paul for this big pay off? If you do but your rather large ego De Paul exit contract will not allow a thank you, just don't respond.
Finkelstein:
LWB: Thank you Professor. One last question Sir. I know that you have appeared several times on Amy Goodman's Democracy Now. Even though I got bored watching you beat up Mr. Dershowitz during your second footnote debate, I continued watching. I'm sort of sweet on Amy. Is she single? Is she Gay? If so would she do a three way with her GF do you think?
Finkelstein:Now that is just a stupid. I'm not answering that.
LWB: Thank you professor and thank you for agreeing to do this interview. All of your fans and friends here at the Homosapien Underground will appreciate it.
The Last Laugh At De Paul: Associate Professor Norman Finkelstein...Multi-Millionaire
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