Friday, January 29, 2010

Bin Laden Joins Forces With Al Gore


The latest message from the beyond blasts the US and the Western World for global warming.

With the collapse of the Copenhagen summit and the falling value of carbon credits, Gore has decided to take on a well known partner to rally his cause.

Reports are that Bin Laden and Gore will embark upon a world wide tour tentatively called "An Inconvenient Jihad."


Noam Chomsky, upon hearing that Bin Laden was so kind to reference him in the taped release humbly said, "Sometimes our enemies become our friends for the greater good." Chomsky also said he would consider joining Bin Laden and Gore on tour.

Al Jazeera, the CIA and Mossad's favorite middle east news organization, released the taped message from the dead man to counter the disrespectful laughter heard in Obama's SOTU address when he mentioned the urgency of fighting climate change. Who's laughing now?

Bin Laden Deplores Climate Change
Osama bin Laden, the al-Qaeda leader, has condemned the US and other industrial economies, holding them responsible for the phenomenon of climate change.

In an audio tape obtained by Al Jazeera, bin Laden criticised George Bush, the former US president, for rejecting the Kyoto pact and condemned global corporations.

"This is a message to the whole world about those responsible for climate change and its repercussions - whether intentionally or unintentionally - and about the action we must take," bin Laden said.

"Speaking about climate change is not a matter of intellectual luxury - the phenomenon is an actual fact."

'Grave repercussions'

In the new recording, bin Laden says "all the industrial states" are to blame for climate change, "yet the majority of those states have signed the Kyoto Protocol and agreed to curb the emission of harmful gases".

He continued: "However, George Bush junior, preceded by [the US] congress, dismissed the agreement to placate giant corporations. And they are themselves standing behind speculation, monopoly and soaring living costs.

"They are also behind 'globalization and its tragic implications'. And whenever the perpetrators are found guilty, the heads of state rush to rescue them using public money."

The Kyoto Protocol, a UN treaty aimed at combating global warming, was adopted in December 1997 and has since been ratified by 187 states, but not by the US congress.

Although a signatory to the agreement, the US under Bush refused to ratify the treaty, saying that it should contain binding goals for developing countries to reduce emissions as well as those for industrialized nations.

Targeting US dollar

In the new recording, bin Laden said: "Noam Chomsky [the US academic and political commentator] was correct when he compared the US policies to those of the Mafia. They are the true terrorists and therefore we should refrain from dealing in the US dollar and should try to get rid of this currency as early as possible. {more}

4 comments:

  1. Shit, I thought this was satire, until I clicked on the link.

    But I thought they hate us for our freedoms? No wait, they hate us for supporting Israel?

    No, let's see, they hate us for ignoring Gaza?

    Can that, they hate us for what we've done to the climate?

    Good ol' Gnome Chumpsky.

    Yes, it doesn't matter who attacked us on 9/11, does it Gnome when they can move the target of hate on a moment's notice.

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  2. Sort of off topic but are you getting any ice and snow in your area Greg?

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  3. We're getting a decent amount of snowfall for the Ozarks, around 4" so far, but only a tiny amount of sleet fell early this morning and no freezing rain.

    Down around Rogers, ARK, a friend reports that they got close to 2" of ice.

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