Monday, May 7, 2012

Step Right Up and Get Your Facebook Shares

The big day is nigh in the sideshow world of Wall Street. Facebook is barking to the suckers and the line is long. The bull is raging so step right up, enter in and get yourself a piece of the pie. Keep clicking those FB ads and the profits will surely soar.  Stocks are a long term investment I've always been told so hold on to them. There's still a few billion more customers to sign up.

Did Zuckerberg give shares in exchange for the seed money from the NSA, CIA or whoever it was or are the dividends already in place through the backdoor systems that were required upfront? Who cares? We're not doing anything wrong, are we, and a little spying is always to be expected no matter what 'ism we live under. So what if Facebook owns all the information we post. We couldn't sell it anyway. Ah, but by owning some stock we too can see a profit from all those important posts about what your 'friend' had for supper last night.

Let's not stop there. I want more IPO's. Prisons are increasingly privatized so why not do the same for Guantanamo? In private hands the show trials could be moved to the Superdome and lots of tickets sold. Later on the executions on pay-per-view could draw a world wide audience. The public and shareholders would be happy. What more could you ask for?

And what about all the internment camps that supposedly have been built? They are just sitting there empty and there's no money in that. We need a public offering. The shareholders would demand that they be filled up and like nursing homes, those invited to live there would have their houses and other assets confiscated to pay for their stay. The private sector would cut costs and profits distributed to the smiling stockholders. A win-win situation if I ever saw one.  Well, not for everyone but hey, we're talking cutting into the national debt here.

It's just not fair that bankers can fund all sides in a conflict and reap all the profits. Why can't we as individuals get in on the action? The Taliban could sell stock in their operation and we would get a say so in what they do. Hezbollah and Hamas could do the same although Hamas would be a gamble seeing as they are a little confined at the moment. The stockholder's meetings in exotic places would be so much fun.

We can buy stock in Murdoch's NewsCorp but Al-Qaeda's media arm, Al-Sahab is off limits. They are essentially the same so why not? I would vote for Rita Katz as chairman of the board for Al-Sahab. She has the experience. Just because it's a freak show doesn't mean there's not an opportunity there. 

We could go on and on; NGO's, non-profits, even churches need to go public, pay some taxes and pass out some dividends. That might not go over so well as it could make it a little harder for those few to steal the big majority of donations. Stockholders always demand accountability, don't they?

I'm being silly here but we'll see who are the silly ones in a few years, maybe a few months.  Perhaps it will be those who pour $10 billion into Facebook and find out the game is rigged. Yes, we'll see.


  1. Ohhh,let's see about a little spying.

    Fellow online loves his weed,shrooms and other Psychedelics.

    Celebrates 420.


    Finds the Po-Po one day breaking down his door.

    He thinks"I'm the most low key,low profile person around"

    How did they know about my lifestyle.

    "I don't any of my friends ratted me out,their some of the most intelligant laid-back excellent people"
    "So it wasn't them"!

    "So what was it,this boggles my mind,so how did they know???"

    "Ahh,Facebook spys on it's customers,duhh Bingo!"

  2. Im gonna love when Facebook ends up like Myspace. Oh sure, another spy nest "social network" will crop up but it'll still be fun to watch Facebook crumble at some point.